


ouch feelings

by sockiesock



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Self Harm, Trans Michael, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 04:46:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11798694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sockiesock/pseuds/sockiesock
Summary: just a vent





	ouch feelings

michael sat in his bed, curled up in a ball. he felt like shit. he wasn't sure why.

okay, he was sure why - but it was small and stupid.

he played with the sports bra under his shirt. it was so tight on him but he couldn't take it off. he had a white shirt on and he couldn't find any others.

he looked up at the only light source in his room, the tv, which was playing chicken little.

he wanted to turn it off, it was so bright and so loud and so annoying. but he didn't.

he wanted to cry, but ..

he looked to his left.

he couldn't wake jeremy up.

he didn't want jeremy to wonder why he was crying at one in the morning.

he didn't want jeremy to make fun of him.

so he held back his tears and fumbled with his sports bra some more (his thinking was that maybe if he messed with it enough, it would become comfortable. it did not) and looked back to the tv.

 _i want to die,_ he thought.

he sniffled.

_i hate myself._

_i hate my life._

_i hate my mom._

_i hate everyone._

_i hate.._

he thought of more things to hate. he looked back at jeremy.

_i hate you. you're never there for me. i'm so fucking upset all the fucking time and you're never there. what kind of friend even are you?_

"what?" jeremy mumbled, still half-asleep.

michael shook his head. "nothing."

he scolded himself for thinking out loud.

 _go fuck yourself,_ he said, only to himself.

he started to scratch his arm.

he scratched harder and harder.

it hurt, but it was nice.

he scratched until it was red. then when it went back to his normal skin tone, he scratched again.

he started to cry.

he turned the movie off.

he pushed himself until his back his the wall and put his blanket over his legs.

he fell asleep like this.


End file.
